As a spouse of someone with bipolar disorder i find myself in therapy. We spend one hour Friday nights with a woman dedicated to making 'mixed mental health marriages' work. Mixed mental health marriage. So THAT is what we are. Learning to love someone with a disability requires an honesty about self-loathing. If i am having a bad day and i use projection, my favorite of all the defense mechanisms, i need to own it. I need to own my actions and not lead Dave to believe that i really am that mad over spending $3.45 on a latte. I need to remember that life is about all of us now, not just me.
Learning to see my own imperfections is an essential first step in this whole mixed mental health marriage. Seeing our life as a list of his shortcomings based on his illness means nothing will ever change. Seeing our life as a partnership of learning to love through and with the illness is essential. It is much harder than i thought, though, to admit that i can't be anyone's savior until i see how flawed (and therefore human) i am.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
An Introduction
My husband was diagnosed with bipolar type II after we were married. Learning to live with the illness isn't just his job, it takes our entire family. This blog is my story of living with bipolar biproxi- being a wife to a man with genious in his blood and a chemical imbalance in his brain.
Our basics- We were married in October 2004. Dave was hospitalized in September 2007, two months after we gave birth to our only daughter, Analise. Dave is the artistic director of a theater company, i am an executive at a homeless service non profit. We live in Chicago, Illinos. I moved to Chicago in 2000, he moved in 2004.
During one of my personal favorite manic episodes of Dave's, we fell in love, got engaged and moved in together in about a week, give or take a couple days. We were wed eight months after our first meeting and have been figuring it all out ever since.
I am going to use this space as a PSA of sorts, helping others learn how to be a spouse of someone with bipolar disorder. But be warned... i usually figure out the 'right way' to do things after i screw up horribly a couple times.
Our basics- We were married in October 2004. Dave was hospitalized in September 2007, two months after we gave birth to our only daughter, Analise. Dave is the artistic director of a theater company, i am an executive at a homeless service non profit. We live in Chicago, Illinos. I moved to Chicago in 2000, he moved in 2004.
During one of my personal favorite manic episodes of Dave's, we fell in love, got engaged and moved in together in about a week, give or take a couple days. We were wed eight months after our first meeting and have been figuring it all out ever since.
I am going to use this space as a PSA of sorts, helping others learn how to be a spouse of someone with bipolar disorder. But be warned... i usually figure out the 'right way' to do things after i screw up horribly a couple times.
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